Crotchdogs, mousemobs and piersonalities

If you got a chance to have a look at Monday's Guardian while drying off and getting warm in between bouts of snowball fighting, sledging and snowman building (or snow whatever building - Nathan knows what I mean), then you will have come across Charlie Brooker's column, in which he lists a number of entries from his New Media Dictionary. These are all spoof word formations, but they're worth looking at because (a) they demonstrate a number of the word formation processes that those of you on the A2 course need to know by heart for Language Change, and (b) some of them are very funny. Take, for example:

chudge (chudj) n. An underqualified judge on an underwhelming TV talent contest.

craptitude test (krap-ti-chewed tessed) n. A televised talent contest with a panel of chudges (qv).

zerotoleriddance (zero-toller-riddantz) n. The moment the public mood finally and irrevocably turns against a hitherto-just-about-tolerable minor celebrity; eg, "We put Danielle Lloyd on the cover and sales nosedived; looks like she's hit zerotoleriddance."

We've looked at this sort of thing many times before, so if you've got five minutes and you want to have a go at coming up with your own spoof neologisms I'd love to see them. Post them as a comment below (together with your analysis of the word formation process) and I might even find it in my heart to give a prize for the best one (and the most accurate analysis). Here's my effort:

bincentive (bin-sent-iv) n. A motivational 'prize' offered by one such as an English Language teacher, which, while purporting to be of high value (e.g. a Mars Bar, a Cafe Nero voucher) is, in fact, worth nothing (e.g. said teacher's 'applause' and 'respect'). Blend of 'bin' and 'incentive'.

Your turn...

Apostrophes about to meet it's maker.

It seems that the death sentence has finally been passed on that most problematic of punctuation marks, the apostrophe - in Birmingham, at least. This week Birmingham City Council announced that they would be abolishing the apostrophe - the proper use of which has been the source of much confusion since its first appearance in our langauge 300 years ago - from all newly-produced street signs. You can read more about the reasons for this decision here.

This move has inevitably sparked something of a debate. There are those who welcome the termination of the apostrophe's 'rights of residency', arguing that it was never really necessary anyway. Perhaps the strongest supporters of this side of the argument are those behind the Kill the Apostrophe website. On the other hand, more prescriptivist views are expressed by the likes of the Apostrophe Protection Society, whose campaign does exactly what it says on the tin. There's a very handy summary of both sides of the argument here.

So what do you think? Is the apostrophe worth saving or is it better off dead and buried?